Recently I’ve been eating more than I needed, and I was questioning why this was happening. I decided to do a matrix therapies process on myself to see what the underlying issue was. I sat with my uncomfortable emotions that were leading me to eat. There was a gnawing, anxious feeling in my gut. I then asked myself when was the first time I had felt this emotion.
It took me back to when I was 4 years old and beginning kindergarten. It was an overwhelming world for a skinny, shy little girl who hadn’t had much engagement with the world before then, preferring to stay close to her mother’s side. Suddenly I was having to negotiate my way around rough little boys who pushed me aside in the sandpit, and wait in long queues to go on the swing. I had to learn how to make friends with the other kids as we stood painting at the easels and it felt like forever before my mum came and picked me up again.
At first I questioned why this memory had come up, and then I realised that my current world was a little similar. Building a business and pushing myself out into the world brings up the same gnawing, anxious feelings in my gut. Having to promote myself, doing FB Lives, having to stand up at networking events and convince others that I can help them, it all takes its toll. Its a lot for an essentially introverted person to do, but I know its essential.
And just like I grew to absolutely love kindergarten, and treasured every day that I was there, so much so that when I had my own children 20 years later I enrolled them in the same kindergarten, so too the rewards and fulfilment I get from building my life coaching business, and engaging with clients that I absolutely love helping, is well worth the discomfort of getting out of my comfort zone to promote myself.
Knowing all this has made it much easier to soothe my gnawing anxious feelings with self-kindness and meditation and time in nature, rather than through the unresourceful path of food.
If you would like more information about Matrix Therapies, or if you would like to discuss any personal issues with me, please reach out.